


Malocclusion

by AnonEhouse



Category: Monty Python's Flying Circus
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-26 00:45:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10775943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: While playing with plot generators for apocalyptic fic, lost_spook wound up with fail boat vampires and mentioned that they'd suit a Monty Python sketch. I ran with the idea.Briefly.





	Malocclusion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lost_spook](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_spook/gifts).



(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

 

The creature of the night slipped out of the gloom, twirled his cape and sunk his fangs deeply into the unsuspecting passerby, who yelped in surprise and said, 'Excuse me! I'm a vampire, too, you know!'

The first vampire withdrew his fangs, and apologetically dabbed at the other one's throat with a clean handkerchief. "Oh! I'm so sorry. I lost my contact lenses and now I can't see a thing in the night!"

Mollified, the second vampire replied, "I used to have that problem, and then I got a seeing-eye bat."

"Wonderful! Where can I get one?"

"There used to be an all night bat shop on Bleeker, but there was a plague of white-nose, and they lost most of their stock, so they've had to import from South America and what with customs and quarantines it takes forever. It's such a nuisance!"

"Excuse me, are you fellows looking for vampire bats?" A third vampire- a shifty looking fellow wearing an enormous wrap around cape, appeared. He flung open his cape, revealing half a dozen bats tied to his waistcoat.

"They're dead," the second vampire said, prodding one of the bats with a finger.

"No, they're not, they're only pining for the pampas."


End file.
